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Brothers And Sisters Are Your Best Friends

     Having brothers and sisters is a true blessing from God, that some people don't get to experience. The sad thing is that many people don't appreciate their siblings.

     In our family, we try to promote brothers and sisters getting along no matter what their personalitiy or age. This picture is of our oldest son, Garrett and our youngest son, Galen. It shows the joy that can exist between brothers and no matter what, they can always be friends.

     Of course in every family, relationship between siblings can cause conflict. Here are five reasons that experts say that conflict occurs.

  1. False Concepts: Have you ever believed any of these things? “My brother or sister is a problem in my life.” “The problem is their fault, not mine.” “Things are hopeless in our relationship.” These are lies that must be recognized, rejected, and replaced with the truth. (2 Cor. 10:3-5)

  2. Bitterness: Many family problems are caused by offenses that lead to bitterness. We hurt others, sometimes intentionally and sometimes unintentionally, and we don't correct things. This damages their spirit toward us and causes bitterness. Also, when others hurt us, we do not respond in the right way. If there are offenses of the past that have never been cleared up, we cannot expect to maintain a good relationship in the present.

  3. Higher Expectations of Our Family: We think we deserve more from our family. We want them to respect our time, space, and opinions. We expect the love and care that we see them show to other people. After all, we are their own sibling; we deserve their love and service more than anyone else does. When they don't measure up to our expectations, we become angry and feel justified in cutting off the relationship. Then we often begin to seek approval from friends instead of our own family.

  4. Lower Expectations of Ourselves: We tend to lower our expectations of ourselves when we are around our own family. We do not make the effort or take the time to consider their needs in the way we would think of other people's. After all, they are only our brothers and sisters. Our careless attitude is displayed by outward action: we say things to them that we would be ashamed to say to others, we fail to express gratitude, we criticize, and we tease. In general, we make their life miserable and it doesn't even bother us. In other words, we have lower expectations of ourselves, and higher expectations of them.

  5. Distractions: If we are too busy to spend time with our families, we will not have a close relationship with them. Many distractions come along to occupy our time. These often keep us from the many important assignments God has for us, including our brothers and sisters. How can we expect to have a good relationship if we do not spend any time together? Some of these distractions are the television, the computer, the telephone, sports, video games, books, other friends, and busy schedules.

     Remember these five things and try to steer clear of them. Try thinking that your sibling(s) is not a problem in your life. When you do wrong to one another, forgive and forget. Have lower expectations of your family and higher expectations of yourself. Spend time with your sibling(s) just like you would with your best friend. Our siblings should be our best friends not our worst enemies.


Copyright © 2008-2015 Debbie Reynolds Harper

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