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Loving Through the Pain

     My personal goal is to always salvage a relationship no matter what the cost.  I believe God has a purpose for each person in my life, and it is my duty to keep up my contribution to the relationship so that if He needs to teach me something through that interaction,  I will hang in there and find out exactly what it is.

     The difficult part of opening up to others and developing trust and close personal relationships is the fear of being hurt or rejected.

     Pain is a stimulus we are all familiar with.  It is not difficult to figure out how to react when we have pain.  If something hurts, we automatically pull away. 

     Although it is very natural and instinctual to react and withdraw from painful stimuli, I find it difficult to pull away during painful situations in relationships.

     I have endured many painful interactions when dealing with people that I love, and if I would have followed the normal, neurological pathway and responded to pain, I know that I would have been out of God’s will for that relationship.

     It is difficult for us to choose a path that is clearly going to create pain for us.  We are wonderfully made by our Creator who has embedded in our minds the ability to withdraw quickly to protect ourselves.  We naturally would want to remove ourselves from a situation where we know that we are going to encounter conflict or challenges. 

     Ironically, often the people closest to us create the most pain for us, but it is not in our best interests to withdraw from these kinds of situations unless, of course, the pain is in the form of some kind of abuse.

     Marriages, friendships, children, and in-laws all have the ability to be sources of pain for us.  I encourage you to endure the heartaches and work toward a resolution.  The value of the relationship and the maturity gained through working out difficult scenarios is a communication victory.  It is so much easier to become angry and walk away or just release that person from your inner circle, but to sacrifice emotional energy is an admirable characteristic. 

     As we embark upon 2010 and the New Year’s resolutions that people normally make come and go, I hope that you will consider a lifelong investment into someone whom you may not have yet contributed the time and effort into. Maybe there is someone who has too many needs or takes too much of your time, and you have refrained from investing in that relationship for one reason or another.  Maybe there is someone who has caused pain in some way, but he or she is not even aware of the pain inflicted.  Your reaction may have been to withdraw from the relationship without ever talking with the person about the incident. 

     Maybe 2010 is a time for new growth when you come out of your comfort zone to be a friend or mentor to someone in need.  We can never be sure where our relationship compasses will land in 2010, but  however long the journey, I encourage you to endure the challenge and make the commitment to love through the pain.

Copyright © 2008-2015 Sherry Norquist

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