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Time for Tea: How to Brew a Cup of Marital Bliss

     Put on your fancy hat and white lace gloves, because we are going to have a tea party! I pull a silken Green Tea Tropical pouch from the box and read, “Smooth green tea leaves harmoniously blend with sweet tropical fruits of pineapple and guava. Fragrant and uplifting, the bouquet will transport you to tropical bliss.”  

     Ladies, you are the sweet tropical note infusing your man’s green tea leaf!

     Our husbands are powerful and capable. Without knowing yours personally, I can still assess these attributes about him because he is a man. As a man, he is endued with physical strength and mental determination to be the hero. We compare him to the tealeaf, because he is quite capable to stand alone and be a world-changer. Tea is substance with power. 

     Ladies, we are everything sweet and delicate. With a richness of flavor, our zest for life and imitation of everything beautiful in the Lord’s heart, blend with the man’s green tea to produce a desirable product, just like the description above.

     To look at the combined elements in Green Tea Tropical, we note the dominant trait of green tea leaves. Yet to gaze a moment longer is to see the pretty cornflower petals, bits of dried fruit, and specks of orange and yellow marigolds. The real delight is to lift the pouch to your nose and breathe in the sweet aroma. The blend is perfection!

     Just as the tea is the major component of Green Tea Tropical, so your husband is the major player in your symphony! After all, he began the prospect of marriage with a proposal. The elements representing his wife break up the monotony in the pouch.  The sensory delights add the unexpected, alerting us to an awaiting adventure.

     Thinking on flavor infused tea, I look to the beginning of the marital relationship as it happened in the Garden of Eden. God extracted a rib bone from Adam to form woman. She literally came from him, but was presented back to him as his complementing helpmate. I guess that is why we like to wrap our arms around the torso of our men and stand alongside of them. We know from where we came; we belong at his side and at his rib cage, not at his feet, not above, and certainly not behind him.

     As much fun as we have had studying the pouch of tea, the true destiny of tea requires something more. Tropical bliss doesn’t happen when we open the package, and neither does marital bliss happen when she says, “Yes” to his, “Will you marry me?” You see, the little tag attached to the pouch says the brew time is three minutes. I have to add water and wait if I am to arrive at my tropical bliss destination. For marital bliss, there needs to be a wedding ceremony- an entering into a covenant that cannot be broken except in death. God Himself will oversee the covenant, and He will confirm the newly created relationship, saying the two are now one.

     Allow me to insert my all-important memory from the days leading up to my wedding. My grandfather sat me down and asked, “Renee, do you want this marriage with Jon to last?” I remember saying, “Of course, Grandpa!” He went on to explain the necessity of keeping Jesus at the center of my life. Grandpa said that when Jesus is at the center, God puts everything else in its proper place. I was grateful to receive my grandfather’s advice. I loved the simplicity of his message and knew that I would not easily forget it.

     Grandpa, in his wisdom, saw that Jon was strong and capable, and I was ready to accentuate Jon’s life with beauty and flavor, but unless we allowed the Holy Spirit to have His way in us, we were not going to make a cup of marital bliss! Let’s allow this message to steep in our hearts. The water element, symbolizing the Holy Spirit, guarantees not only a lasting marriage but, also, a truly enjoyable marriage. He is the Counselor who is with us - even better - in us, to lead us in personal sanctification. That is what it means to brew: we go through the process of sanctification. It is here that God continually increases His nature in us, and our old nature diminishes. Through the work of the Holy Spirit, two can become one. Two, who are opposite in many ways, find themselves shedding their old nature that demanded its own way, and taking on the new nature that enables them to abide in perfect love, joy and peace. That is the making of a cup of marital bliss.

cup of tea     We have studied the tea, we brewed it, and now it is time to enjoy the tropical delight! Ladies, the water making your perfectly blended tea is constantly flowing when you live a life of prayer. Your prayer life invites the Holy Spirit into your marriage. That is your number one maneuver in keeping Jesus at the center of your relationship.

     Keep in mind that your spouse is going to do or say something that contradicts your position on an issue. You will know in your heart if it is time to speak directly to him or speak to the Father about him! Let’s be honest, if the time is not conducive for you to speak to your husband about an issue, yet you do so anyway, your heart may not be heard in its truest sense. What you have to say may put you in the appearance of a nag, so timing is critical. There is a time to speak and a time to refrain. But in that gap of time, we pray and allow ourselves to be led by the Holy Spirit.

     As you sip your tea and think on the issues in your marriage, remember to pray without ceasing. I have seen God move upon the heart of my husband and produce drastic changes as I have prayed about small and big things. And, in those moments when discord is brewing, keep in mind that prayer is always a victory stance. Take authority over chaos and allow the devil no foothold into your household. Steep your marriage in prayer and allow the Holy Spirit to do the work in the unseen places.

     Have another sip of your flavor infused tea and know that the greatest reward in marriage comes from esteeming your man. This requires your intentional promotion of his good, because to fall into the rhythm of the world is to become an instrument of tearing him down. Trust me, I know! I remember early in our marriage, we were out with friends one night, and in that setting of hilarious fun, we all worked hard to make one another laugh. Jon made the comment, “I thought marriage was supposed to be happy and simple!” I responded, “It is! I’m happy and you’re simple!” See what I mean? I was just following the rhythm of our culture to tear down my spouse. That was awful of me to say to him, in a joking manner or not.

     I read this a year ago, and it has stuck with me: “If given a chance to promote yourself or your spouse, always choose your spouse.” 1 Let’s listen to God’s version: “Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:11-12 (NIV)

     Bringing your husband good is seen in the way you benefit him relationally, spiritually, financially, physically and emotionally. More than his need for food, he needs your respect. That is the ultimate stamp of value in his eyes, so heighten your practice of speaking highly of your man. Infuse his green tea with good flavors. Even in moments of not seeing him at his best, choose to meditate on his character traits that you most admire. Tell him those things. Tell your parents. Tell his parents and grandparents. Tell your friends. Tell your church family. Promote him in all sincerity.

     Remember the old adage: What goes around comes around? Well, it shows up in Proverbs 31. Verse 25 states, “she is clothed with strength and dignity.” (NIV) I believe, based on the description of the husband praising his wife at the city gates, that she benefits from her promotion of her husband. The word strength denotes security- security she has in the Lord and in her husband’s devotion. Her dignity comes from his expressions of praise and appreciation. She knows her value as he expresses the beauty she brings to his cup of tea.

     One last note from the packaging of Green Tea Tropical: the branding for the Mighty Leaf product includes an illustration of a pot of tea brewing and vapor swirling up to form a two- armed vapor cloud showing his muscles. Isn’t that the product of a marriage steeped in the presence of the Holy Spirit? A sweet aroma rises to the throne of God as victorious Jesus and his mighty church are put on display in the world through our marriages.

     Dear Woman in marriage, the Lord has brought you and your spouse together to impact this world for Jesus’ name and fame. Together, you are better; you complement one another. God’s purposes are bigger than you can even begin to imagine, so continue to set your hearts on being used in a united purpose to change the world, and God will do just that through you.

1  Ten Biblical Rules for a Happy Marriage, New Life Ministries.


Couples Photo taken by: Kylie Leighann

Copyright © 2008-2015 Renee Beamer

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