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Your Marriage: Handle it with Care

     I realize that with the amount of ladies that read these articles we have many differences in our marriages. Some have been married for a short time, others for decades; some have Christian spouses, others do not; some have children still at home and others none; some have overall good marriages and others are on a disaster course.

     Despite those differences, we can focus on what we all have in common--that we are married Christian women who want a successful marriage.

     There are a few things that you can apply to your life now, no mater what stage you are at in your marriage.

     I want us to focus on what WE can do, not what we want our husbands to do!

     It’s easy for us as wives to see how our husbands need to change or what they should be doing and overlook that we are lacking in areas, too. Matthew 7:3 (NIV) reminds us: Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?”

     There are things about your husband you will never change (nor should you try to).  For example, if your husband was the oldest child of the family, he will more than likely be a very strong-willed person and can be stubborn at times.  If he was the youngest, he may appear lazy and somewhat disorganized. Let God take care of him and focus instead on your own weaknesses.

A. Understand that Husbands Need to Feel Needed

     Genesis 2:18 (NIV) says, “Then the LORD God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.’ So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place.   The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of Man."'

      In the beginning, man was needed to create the woman. You as the wife need to affirm to your husband his importance and that you need him. Once again, remember it doesn’t matter how long you have been married,  your husband will always need to feel that you need him.

     Take a trip back in history and remember what it was like in the beginning and how you needed him. Then, make him feel needed now, maybe even through simply saying, ¨I’m so glad I have you¨ or  ¨I’m blessed to wake up with you.¨ Send a text message during the middle of the day just to say ¨I’m thinking about u.” Whatever it takes, be creative and find ways to affirm to your husband that he is important and that you need him.

B. Make Time for Your Husband

     Remember what it was like when you were dating? You probably spent hours on the phone and couldn’t wait to be with him.

     Make time to spend with your husband.  It doesn´t have to be difficult or elaborate, but even taking 15 minutes here or there or going out to dinner as a couple will solidify your relationship.  If you have children, find someone to watch them. Your husband and you need that time.  You may find that late at night when the house is quiet and the two of you share a cup of coffee together is just right.

     If a marriage is going to be fulfilling, then there has to be time invested in each other, but it is so easy to invest our time in other people, in our jobs or responsibilities, or even in the kids and we leave whatever energy we may have left for our husband.

     Just find time to do it. It can be done. I read recently about the number of marriages that end in divorce after the kids are grown and leave the house because the couple suddenly realized that without the kids they didn’t have much in common.  They grew distant over the years instead of growing closer.

C. Strive to Be a Godly Wife  

     Being a perfect wife is impossible, but a Godly wife is one who has Christ at the center of her heart and in all areas desires to be an example of Christ.  Proverbs 31 describes the beauty of a Biblical, Godly wife.  It may seem too much for you to attain, but it should be something that we strive for over time.

     We find in Proverbs that a Godly wife is trustworthy, positive, hard working, compassionate, a servant, strong, optimistic, and therefore she finds favor with God and is loved by her family.

     You may not always feel you get recognition for all that you do, but in order to be happy we need to put aside our need for recognition and abandon our focus on our husband’s faults.

     Focus instead on who YOU are.  As you meditate on this devotion, I ask you to allow God to use it to bring to light areas in your life where you can be a better wife.

     May you bring strength and not weakness, bring love and not discord, bring loyalty and not division and bring hope and stability to the foundation of your marriage and to the heart of your husband.



     In your prayer time today, I want you to pray for your husband. Call his name before God and ask God to help you to take the focus off of his short-comings and to renew your passion and love for him. Commit to obey God and honor your husband. Believe for the positive results that will follow in your relationship.

Copyright © 2008-2015 Melinda Henderson

Reader Comments...
2010-10-29 17:34:26
"Ms. Henderson, considering how you instigate trouble in other marriages, this article is a complete joke! What kind of married Christian woman would go out on dates with married agnostic men??? Ms. Henderson, you should be ashamed of yourself. Don't worry, your husband has been advised of your behavior. Sincerely, somebody's wife!"
        - Mrs.

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