In This Issue  
Home    |    About Us    |    Meet Debbie    |    Meet Friends    |    Prayer    |    Contact Us
Share Print this page Print Email to a friendEmail

< Back to Marriage Matters

An Expression of His Beauty

     Recently, my two oldest daughters went “shopping” for a present for me in our church’s clothes closet.  Beaming, my five-year-old emerged with her treasured find---a pair of sequined high-heeled silver shoes, just as sparkly as they could be.    

     Sometimes, I think I must be the biggest disappointment to my oldest daughter because, while she loved those sparkly silver heels, I would feel more comfortable in some canvas sneakers.  It is incomprehensible to her why I don’t wear a dress or skirt every day and when I do choose a skirt over jeans, she pays me the highest compliment she can possibly imagine.  She hugs me tight and says, “Mommy, you look beautiful; you look just like a princess.”

     In their book Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of  Woman’s Soul, John and Stasi Eldridge write:

     You see every little girl--and every little boy--is asking one fundamental question.  But they are very different questions, depending on whether you are a little boy or a little girl . . . Little girls want to know, Am I lovely?  The twirling skirts, the dress up, the longing to be pretty and to be seen--that is what it’s all about.  We are seeking an answer to our Question.  When I was a girl of maybe five years old, I remember standing on top of the coffee table in my grandparents’ living room and singing my heart out.  I wanted to capture attention--especially my father’s attention.  I wanted to be captivating.  We all did.  But for most of us, the answer to our Question when we were young was, “No, there is nothing captivating about you.”  Get off the coffee table. Nearly all a woman does in her adult life is fueled by her longing to be delighted in, her longing to be beautiful, to be irreplaceable, to have her Question answered, “Yes!” . ..

     And down in the depths of our hearts, our Questions remains.  Or rather, it remains answered in the way it was answered so badly in our youth.  “Am I lovely?  Do you see me?  Do you want to see me?  Are you captivated by what you find in me?”  We live haunted by that Question, yet unaware that it still needs an answer.

     This desire to be captivating---to be a princess worthy of such attention--amazes me and baffles me.  I cannot ever recall playing princess dress-up or twirling in skirts. I didn’t wear dresses all the time or hold tea parties.  I was a bookworm, a student, an organizer, a music-lover, a nerd even--but never a princess.  

     Even so, I can honestly say that there is a deep-down need met when I hear the words, “You’re beautiful” and my only explanation for that need is that God designed us as women to be the “expression of God’s beauty--His crown of creation” (Francesca Battistelli).  Whether you were a princess or a tree-climber, a ballerina or a bookworm like me, YOU display the beauty of God’s handiwork.

     At first, I am inspired by that thought--to express God’s beauty, to be the crown of His creation--how amazing that God thinks me beautiful!  But, if I think that beauty is confined merely to the physical, then I am very soon depressed because there is always a reminder in this world of how we don’t measure up physically---how we need to be thinner, more fit, taller/shorter, without glasses, with highlighted hair in the latest style, perfect nails and a white smile.  For every one time someone may tell us we are beautiful, we hear and see thousands of messages telling us otherwise.

     Then I am reminded that the beauty God has placed in us encompasses our physical being, as well as our spirit and soul.  They are intertwined.  Although I never catch a whole episode of What Not To Wear, the makeover television show on TLC, I sometimes like to watch the last ten minutes.  In those few minutes, you can see “before” and “after” and the transformation is almost always breathtaking.  I have never seen a woman on that show receive a makeover without changing inside and out.  Slouching and shuffling disappear as the woman transformed exudes new-found confidence.  They showed her she was beautiful and that made all the difference.

     In fact, inner and outward beauty are so enmeshed, I wonder if a makeover show could start from the inside and work out.  Could a woman be transformed into a great beauty without a shopping trip, a great hair cut and a new makeup routine?  Could the inner transformation be first and then spill over into making outward changes?  

     After all, beauty on the outside, without the joy of Christ radiating from us, is nothing more than a lifeless magazine picture or sparkly silver shoes on monster feet. With June here, the month of many weddings, I am surrounded by brides-to-be, who I can only hope are focusing at least as much on the inner beauty they need for a lifetime as they are on their hair, makeup, dress, shoes, and flowers for one single day in that life.

     By all means, ladies, if you are feeling discouraged and down, enjoy experimenting with a new hair style or paint your nails or wear a new outfit--whatever might make you feel pampered and beautiful.  Sometimes we exhaust ourselves by caring for others in our homes, at work, and in ministry, and we fail to take the time to indulge the part of us that longs to feel beautiful.

     Yet, Proverbs tells us that “Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” Proverbs 31:30, (NIV).  In the New Testament, Peter writes, “Let not yours be the merely external adorning of the hair; the wearing of jewelry, or changes of clothes, but let it be the inward adorning and beauty of the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, which is not anxious or wrought up, but is very precious in the sight of God” 1 Peter 3:3-4, (AMP).   

     Anything physical will pass away, but cultivate the gentle and peaceful spirit and put aside your anxiety and worry.  Spend some time in a garden or take a long walk or bike ride where you can enjoy the quiet of simply being in the presence of our Creator God.  You don’t need to spend your time with Him in a deep theological discussion.  Just enjoy His presence!  Be refreshed.  Be reminded of His love.  

     Feel free to strut in your sparkly silver shoes today or twirl your summer skirt!  Or, if you prefer, relax in your canvas sneakers and Capri pants.  Unless you have a very considerate husband, you may not often hear the words, “You’re beautiful.” Please allow me to tell you that you are dearly loved and so very beautiful however you are dressed, whatever your appearance, and regardless of your personality. You were uniquely designed by a Creator who takes pleasure in beauty and You are the reflection of His artistry.

Copyright © 2008-2015 Heather King

Post Your Comment...

First Name
Last Name
e-mail   (We will not re-distribute your e-mail.)

Share on Facebook Share
Print this page Print This Page
Email to a friendEmail Article to a Friend

< Back to Marriage Matters

More Great Articles

My Friend Debbie - Turn Old Man Winter Into A Breath of Fresh AirHome & Hospitality

Turn Old Man Winter Into A Breath of Fresh Air
My Friend Debbie - Chicken and Rice CasseroleKitchen Keeper Recipes

Chicken and Rice Casserole
My Friend Debbie - Corolla, NC with GirlfriendsTravel

Corolla, NC with Girlfriends