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To Whom Does Your Husband Belong?

     My husband and I have been married for 16 years.  Fifteen of those years have been wonderful, but our first year was a disaster.  While at a counseling session with our pastor one afternoon, he posed this question, “Christina, whom does Mike belong to?”  

     I took a moment to think about his question and was sure that I had the correct biblical answer. I knew the Bible said that when we were married we became “one.” So, I confidently answered, “He belongs to me, and I belong to him. We are one.” 

     Our pastor proceeded to correct my line of thinking.  His words jolted me then and still are present with me to this day.  He said, “You both belong to God.  He has graciously loaned you to one another and only for a time.”  That word “loaned” woke me up like an alarm clock on a Monday morning.  You see, when I was 16 years old, my stepfather died.  My biological father was never a part of my life, so my stepfather was the only daddy I had ever known.  I knew all too well what our pastor had meant by the word “loaned.” 

     Although we are “one” in spirit and become “one” intimately, we are still two distinctly different personalities and people. Our pastor proceeded to explain that no matter how much we both tried to change one another, it was an impossible feat.  Trying to change your spouse only leads to frustration. anger.  many unnecessary arguments and hurt feelings.  That is just what Satan wants in our marriages.  Only God has the power and authority to change the hearts of His creation.  The only power we have over each other is the power to love unconditionally and to pray

     Pastor told us that we each needed to seek God on one another’s behalf and to believe that He had our best interests at heart--not only as individuals but also as a married couple.  Our pastor continued,  “You are not promised continuous happiness and joy.  We never know how much time we have left with someone before God calls him back to Himself. “Pastor didn’t say this to us so that we would become fearful, but, on the contrary, appreciative for every moment we were given to one another. 

     So relax in the Lord, dear wife.  Love unconditionally, then pray and believe in your heavenly Father to do the rest.  It may take a bit of time, but there is such relief in knowing that you don’t have to take the responsibility for someone else’s spiritual and emotional metamorphosis.  God is faithful.

“Because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:5-6 (NIV)

Copyright © 2008-2015 Christina Messer

Reader Comments...
2011-08-04 18:27:19
"Love this article.....thanks for sharing these truths. Heather K"
        - Heather

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