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Anointed to Live, Love and Serve

     Who wouldn’t want a closer walk with Jesus?  If you are dealing with brokenness, old hurts, unforgiveness, and are having a hard time letting those things go, it may help to understand that giving up those things brings you closer to Jesus.  He says, “I want that pain, I want that hurt, and I want you to forgive them.”  But He is not pushy or forceful, He simply waits until you are ready to let whatever it is go, realizing that what He has for you is a thousand times better than anything you could hold onto for yourself. 

     When I first became a Christian, I had no idea what it all really meant.  A personal relationship with Jesus is possible, is attainable if you open your heart to it.  I know now, 23 years later after seeing all of the changes in my heart and life, that I am not who I was.  I gave Him my tendency toward alcoholism, I gave Him my destructive relationships, I tried to obey and be faithful and I failed over and over.   And even after all this time He is still dealing with my brokenness, only because I was unwilling to let certain things go and unwilling to examine the possibility that my heart still needed work.  But I learned recently that if you give something to the Lord, whatever it is, He gives you something in return.  He doesn’t leave your heart empty or with void.  In fact, He is the God who fills the void. 

     So recently I gave Him my secret escape places I would go when times get tough.  We all have some coping mechanism in place - be it drugs, alcohol, food, shopping, even exercise.  Obviously some are better than others.  I had my  thoughts of escape, not of God, that would take me away and help me to forget my present situation even if only for a little while.  And I was reluctant at first, thinking, “That is my safe last little corner that I call my own!  I don’t know if I’m ready to give that up.” 

    Well after processing for a few days and realizing that that little corner holds me back from my purpose and calling and ultimately His will for my life, I gave it to the Lord, and many tears were shed as I said to the Lord, “I close that door.  I choose not to go there any more.  Please stop me and steer me away if I am going down that path of ‘fantasy/escape/what if... thoughts’ again.”  And I felt His presence accept and embrace me, and the peace of God was real.

     I said to the Lord in my emptiness, “What are you going to give me in return?”  Because He never leaves you empty or void.  He said, “Your anointing.”  Many years ago, I was able to pray for people and see them be healed and I was able to speak life and healing prophetically and many people were blessed by that.  I had lost it somewhere in the last ten years in the chaos of trying to manage life, marriage, children, financial struggles...and overall worry.  I doubted God’s faithfulness, and for whatever reason I took it upon myself time and time again to strive out of my own power instead of living in the anointing that He gave me early in my Christianity.  His yolk is easy, His burden light:  I knew it in my head but never believed in my heart.   

     So what does all this mean?  Well ever since I closed that door a week ago, I have felt the presence of the Lord with me.  I don’t doubt His faithfulness, and I have every reason to believe that my prayers will be heard and answered, maybe not in my timeframe, but in His and He knows best and that’s ok.  But more than that, there is a burning passion alive inside that wasn’t there before.

     There is a fire that is inextinguishable to live, love, serve and shine for Him.  I look forward to what the future holds because I am available in a way I never was before and I opened myself up to Christ’s amazing love simply by giving away those things that were hurting me and holding me back.  Though the faithfulness of God, I will always pursue the deeper, closer walk with the Lord at whatever expense it is to my earthly pleasures, because they are fleeting and temporary, and because life without Christ is void and empty without it. 

     “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever. “ (I John 2:15-18, NKJV)

Copyright © 2008-2015 Patricia Vera

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